A Little Bit of Sanity


Matěj Cepl


My pet peeve in all literature is when heroes of a book start to behave like idiots just to keep shaky story line intact. As great as J. K. Rowling is, even she managed to do it couple of times. So, these are my fixes


Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Kreacher (Harry Potter)

Wrong girl’s name

(during the time frame of the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, after Ron is accidentally poisoned. Am I the only who was persuaded while reading the books, that Ron and Hermione were dating throughout whole Death Hallows book?)

“Stop it, Ron. You're making it snow.”

“Tell me how I broke up with Lavender again.”

“Um, well…”

“…she came to visit you in the hospital.”

“And you talked.”

“I don't believe it was a particularly long conversation.”

“Don't get me wrong, I'm bloody thrilled to be shot of her.”

“It's just she seems a bit put out.”

“Yes, she does, doesn't she?”

“You say you don't remember anything from that night?”

“Anything at all?”

Harry saw this conversation leads to nowhere and remembered Ginny’s “About time …” comment from the last night, and he shivered imagining this train wreck of non-relationship going on. He took a breath …

“Hermione, don’t make that face at me, we are all Gryffindors, we are supposed to be the brave at heart.”

“Ron, let me describe the scene. There were four of us students, you, lying down in a bed, unconscious, me, Hermione, Ginny, and four professors, Slughorn, Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. They were talking about what in the world had happened, and Dumbledore discovered that the mead you drunk was completely laced with poison. We, three students, were just basically listening to them, saying nothing.”

“And then Lavender came …”

Hermione turned deep scarlet.

“Well, she was very excited from prospect of sitting at your bedside and she was hoping you were calling her name or something. Then she was rather stupid to Hermione, but in the end we were all just looking at you and waiting what will happen. And then you crackled a girl’s name from your dreams. Well, it wasn’t her name …”

“I think, I will let you two talk, I see Katie Bell coming, so I would like to ask her about what she remembers.”

He left.

Burning Scar

(during the time frame of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, chapter 12; do they really have to behave like idiots and not talk a bit rationally? Also, another the book-Ron moment. Also, too long lead from the HPDH, but I haven’t found a proper place to cut it in the middle.)

He opened his eyes; he has sunk to the floor. Hermione was pounding on the door again.

„Harry, open up!“

He has shouted out, he knew it. He got up and unbolted the door; Hermione toppled inside at once, regained her balance and looked around suspiciously. Ron was right behind her, looking unnerved as he pointed his wand into the corners of the chilly bathroom.

“What were you doing?” asked Hermione sternly.

“What d’you think I was doing?” asked Harry, with feeble bravado.

“You were yelling your head off” said Ron.

“Oh yeah … I must’ve dozed off or —”

“Harry, please don’t insult our intelligence,” said Hermione, taking deep breaths. “We know your scar hurt downstairs, and you’re white as a sheet.”

Harry sat down on the edge of the bath.

“Fine. I’ve just seen Voldermort murdering a woman. By now he’s probably killed her whole family. And he didn’t need to. It was Cedric all over again, they were just there …”

“Harry, you aren’t supposed to let this happen any more!” Hermione cried, her voice echoing through the bathroom. “Dumbledore wanted you to use Occlumency! He thought the connection was dangerous – Voldermort can use it. Harry! What good is it to watch him kill and torture, how can it help?”

“Because it means I know what he’s doing,” said Harry.

“So you’re not even going to try to shut him out?”

“Hermione, I can’t. You know I’m lousy at Occlumency, I never got the hang of it.”

“You never really tried!” she said hotly. “I don’t get it, Harry – do you like having this special connection or relationship or what – whatever —”

She faltered under the look he gave her as he stood up.

“Like it?” he said quietly. “Would you like it?”

“I – no – I‘m sorry, Harry, I didn‘t mean —“

“I hate it, I hate the fact that he can get inside me, that I have to watch him when he’s most dangerous. But I’m going to use it.”

“Dumbledore —”

“Hermione, do you listen to me at all? If you want to be part of this pack hunting Horcruxes you have to accept what we have and what we have not. You suck in flying on a broom, we don’t have a werewolf, and I am pathetic with Occlumency even in the best times. Snape explained me it is all about concentrating your mind and controlling your emotions. I couldn’t do it even just when Snape was looking at me, and how do you expect me to control my emotions, when the pain in my head is so severe, it knocks me out unconscious? That yelling my head off is not because I was enjoying myself.”

It was actually Ron who replied.

“I understand you, mate, it is bad and no, we cannot help it, but please try to look at the situation from our side as well. We are on the edge of panic attack most of the time, and here one of us has some weird connection to the most dangerous wizard of all times, who just yearns to kill us all. Not mentioning, that by using that connection that wizard has already managed once to get us into a trap, where he killed your godfather. Permit us to be a bit nervous from this situation.”

Harry felt ashamed. He was so focused on the task at hand, and on his own feelings, he completely forgot to think about his friends as humans with feelings and fear not just elements in the strategy. He took a deep breath to say something, but Ron was not done yet.

“Let me suggest something. We will try with Hermione to be nervous wreck from this just once a day at most, but you will promise us something. Do not lie and do not hide. Every time this crap happens, tell us please everything you saw. It really does not help to watch you all the time checking what state you are in, and waiting whether in the next moment you get possessed or something.”

Harry shook his head, yes, that sound reasonable.

“And the second, promise us not to do anything based on what you get from this connection without talking about it first with us. And then try to listen to us, don’t boss us with your special relationship with Voldermort. I don’t want to be a complete jerk, but this second advice could save Sirius’ life.”

Hermione still looked nervous, but she shook her head in agreement.

(Hermione is certainly allowed to freak out from time to time so that we preserve the strength of her request in chapter 32 to look into the Voldermort’s head intentionally)